So.  I live in London now.  And I’ve decided to resurrect Propacakey at shows.  Because it’s hella fun and I bloody love cakes.  And I found my old myspace page which held the list of all the cakes I ever made and I remembered just how scrum some of them were.  So here’s the list.  I will start bringing my babies back to life one by one over the next few months, and hopefully recipes will be going up too.  Otherwise I’ll be at shows, you know, trying to get your money.

Ooh, I also found this picture, which is pretty cool.  It’s that dude from Strike Anywhere.  He bloody loves my cakes.

Hot Cross (buns) 

The easter one!  scrummy mixed fruit and cinnamon batter topped with a tangy orange zest cross.

Banoffee With Their Heads 

A rich sticky batter full of gooey caramelised bananas topped with a vanilla fudge icing

You Suck!  But Your Peanut Butter Cupcakes Are Ok!

Peanut butter chocolate cupcakes coated in rich vanilla butter icing.  My favourite cupcake by far!

Paint it Black Forest Gateaux 

Couldn’t get more decadent or silly really.  Chocolate and cherry batter filled with rich vanilla cream and topped with the most luxurious cherry brandy chocolate ganache.  Might make you feel a bit sick if you have too many…

Tequila Your Idols 

Party cake!  Cupcakes stuffed full of lime zest and iced with a salted (yes, salted!) tequila topping.  Might get you tipsy.

Cinnabob-ombs! 

One hella sex bob-omb of a cupcake (though technically a pastry).  Individual cinnamon buns!

Cakey Dixons 

By request of the lovely Miss Katy Dixon, these are apparently red velvet cupcakes.  I think that means they’re rich and soft and red, which they are.  A little bit of chocolate and some rich vanilla butter cream makes these just lovely.

Death Cab for Carrot Cake 

The worst named cupcakes in the world.  Pretty self explanatory though.

Donuts Elite 

aka “the ones with jam in”.

Against Mojito! 

Just like Miami! Soak up south beach whilst retaining your punk rock ethics! A delicate and refined fresh mint batter topped with a rum and lime icing (contains booze).

Dork Rock Cake Rod 

Coffee flavoured cakes speckled with cocoa nibs and topped with more coffee! Slightly bitter, these cakes only listen to rare vinyl and want to be your boyfriend.

Gruffiteroles

Up the posh punx!  Sweet vanilla cupcakes filled with rich soy cream and topped with dark chocolate ganache

Propacakey  

As cakey as things can get – a rich, slightly spiced cake batter topped with thick and decadent vanilla soy “butter” cream. The original and best!

Apple Piebald 

These are the only pies that we have!  A homely cinnamon crumb base filled with sweet and spicey baked organic apples. Warming through and through, like a sugary autumnal blanket.

Ok so I made these the other night with stuff that was left in my fridge (bit of a cheat as I’d made chimichurri mushrooms for a party a few days earlier.  Don’t really care though).  And they were so tasty that I ate them all before remembering to take a picture.  Wah.  I’m not normally grateful that the washing up never gets done, but this time I am.

The short of it is that they’re yum, and super easy to make too.  Basically bosh everything in a big bowl, mix and cook until done, shouting “Ariba” every now and then to stay in the mood.  This makes them your best friend to take to a summer bbq.  Everyone will love you.

Recipe after the jump…

Ingredients

• 300g new potatoes, in 5mm slices
• 1 red and 1 yellow bell pepper, sliced into appx 10-12 strips each
• large handful of chopped fresh parsley
• large handful of chopped fresh coriander
• 3 cloves garlic, bashed and minced
• 1 green chili pepper (deseeded if you’re a wuss like me), chopped finely
• 1/4 cup olive oil
• 1/4 cup lemon juice
• pinch of salt & freshly ground pepper

And before you think that i’ve actually got myself tapped and now spend my evenings making multi coloured slop to throw at people, whilst that’s kinda a bit true, it’s actually beetroot hummus.  But I call it Bangarang!  Because it’s more fun and it makes me chuckle.

Bangarang is your new best buddy.  Bangarang is friends with your sammiche, your pasta, and I reckon he’d even get on pretty well on a fancy pizza.  I’m going to use it like it’s pesto, or tapenade, but a whole heap more awesome.  And here’s how you make it…

Be warned, this makes a whole lot.  So unless you’re going to invite all the boys over and throw it at them, i’d reduce the quantities.  Though it does freeze, which makes it even better.  Is there nothing Bangarang! can’t do?

It’s also incredibly easy to make.  Just blend all of these fellas together:

• 600g cooked chickpeas
• 1 clove garlic
• 1/3 cup lemon juice
• 2 handfuls fresh coriander
• 1 teaspoon sea salt
• 1/3 cup good quality olive oil
• 3 beetroots, sliced, diced and cooked

Next year I’m going to  make a double batch.  And hide some.  You should too.

I’ve been planning these cupcakes for months.  I’m not a fan of fruitcake(s) so the challenge was on to have something that was festive and a little bit grown up but still a cupcake.  Because cupcakes a great.  And what’s Christmas without nutmeg, orange and brandy?  Together they taste yummy and make awesome tunes.  I think the only thing that would make this cupcake better is listening to Andy, Glenn & Ritch whilst baking.  Go on…   http://www.myspace.com/andyglennandritch

Ingredients:

• 1 cup soya milk
• zest of 2 oranges
• juice of 1 orange
• 1/3 cup vegan margerine
• 1/3 cup good quality coarse marmalade
• 3/4 cup sugar
• 1 teaspoon vanilla essence
• 4 tablespoons brandy
• 1 1/2 cups flour
• 1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
• 1/2 teaspooon baking powder
• 1/4 teaspoon salt

Whisk together the orange zest, juice and soya milk.  Leave to sit until curdled (yum).  In a separate bowl, beat together the margerine, marmalade, sugar, vanilla and brandy.  It will look pretty gross.  It’s ok.  Add in the milk and beat together as best you can to break up the lumps.

Sift in the flour, baking power, baking soda and salt in 1/2 cup batches.  There shouldn’t be too many lumps but don’t over stir it or your cuppy cakes won’t be light and fluffy.  You just want to get rid of the big chunks so there are no floury surprises when you finally get to eat.

Once mixed, pour into muffin cases and bake at 180C for around 20mins.   You’ll  know when they’re done because they’ll be golden brown and if you stick a skewer in the middle it will come out clean.  Leave to cool.

For the icing:

• 1/3 cup vegan margerine
• 3 tablespoons brandy
• 1 teaspoon freshly ground nutmeg
• appx 300g icing sugar

Mush the margerine and brandy together in a bowl as best you can.  Add the nutmeg and sift in the icing sugar, again, about half a cup at a time.  300g should be enough, but if you see it started to thicken too much then stop, obviously, and if it’s a bit runny, well, heck, go add some more.  It’s Christmas afterall!

Ice and eat until you are sick.

it’s seriously one of the things that i miss most about being in brighton.  thankfully i bullied him into sending me the recipe so i can make it myself.  still, it’s not quite the same without his dumb face next to it.  bless.

anyway, here’s what he had to say for himself…

ingredients:

• 1 medium onion, finely chopped
• 1 green pepper, roughly chopped
• 5 medium mushrooms, chopped however you like
• 280g block of tofu
• 2 tbsp soy sauce
• 1 tbsp turmeric
• 1 tbsp paprika (smoked if you can get it)
• 1 tsp thyme
• dash cayenne
• dash black pepper

“in a large pan/wok fry the onions in some sunflower oil for about 4/5 mins until they’re translucent, then add the green pepper and mushroom. while you let these cook for a bit get your block of tofu (you may need to press it to get some of the liquid out but i don’t usually bother) and chop up into 1cm squares.

“after the peppers and mushrooms have fried for 4/5 mins add the tofu and fry it all for a couple more minutes. then you want to add in the soy sauce, i’ve put 2 tbsp but i usually just put a few good glugs from the bottle in.   add to this your turmeric, paprika, thyme, and cayenne/black pepper to your taste.  give it a good stir so everything is coated in all the spices and cook for another 5 minutes, stirring occasionally.

“then you’re pretty much ready to go, you can leave it on a low heat while you prepare anything else in your breakfast or serve straight away (ilike to serve it on toast with at least beans and linda m sausages, for the ultimate breakfast add home fries and tempeh bacon, mmmmmmmmm).”

So this is dorkrockcakerod.  It’s the perfect nerdy cupcake.  It’s a little bit bitter, only buys oop coloured vinyl and really, REALLY wants to be your boyfriend, but is totally happy to settle for being your friend, you know, until you work out your issues with your ex.

Magic ingredients are coffee and cocoa nibs.  Since moving to Brighton I’ve yet to find somewhere that sells cocoa nibs, which upsets me a little.  They’re basically the husks of the cocoa bean (I think), so you get the most amazing bitter crunchyness, which I think is the perfect surprise for a cupcake that probably has a lot of strange secrets.  It’s a good excuse to look in every food shop I can.  I’ll keep looking, and when I find them I’ll let you know how Imade these little geezers.  Because they’re just awesome.

No pics this time though, sorry.  I think i dropped my camera and the lens is all wonky.  Woopsadaisy.  So here’s a picture of a dude holding a giant beetroot over his head

Ingredients

• 2 small onions, sliced
• 1/2 teaspoon chipotle
• 1 medium beetroot, cut into 1cm cubes
• 1 teaspoon coriander seeds, ground in a pestle & mortar
• 1 can kidney beans
• 1 tablespoon soy sauce
• 1/2 teaspoon liquid smoke
• 1/4 cup gluten powder (or 1/2 cup breadcrumbs)

Heat some oil in a pan until really hot.  Chuck in the chipotle and coriander and stir for 30 seconds until fragrant.  Turn the heat down to medium and chuck in the beetroot and onion.  Fry for 30 mins until the beetroot starts to go a little soft, but you still want a fair bit of bite.

In a separate bowl, mush up the kidney beans (hands are best, don’t be shy).  You don’t want it totally pureed, but ideally no whole beans either.  Capiche?  Add in the beetroot mix and the rest of the ingredients.  Form into burger shapes (this makes about 4-6) and grill until cooked.   That’s it!  Serve in a big squishy bread roll with all the trimmings and some homemade potato wedgies (yes, wedgies).

This recipe actually happened in onion week.  It was rather amazing.  I had bought a beetroot and, as per usual, not known what the heck to do with it.  But i had nothing else to eat, save some potatoes and normal cupboard staples.  I scrimped together enough pennies for some spinach and this beauty was born.

Ingredients:

• 1 large beetroot – I used yellow beetroot, which is why my bhajis look suspiciously non-beetrooty.
• 1 baking potato
• 1 teaspoon chipotle
• 1 tablespoon fennel seed
• 150g spinach
• 2 teaspoons salt
• 2-3 cups plain flour
• 2 tablespoons oil, plus extra for frying

First thing’s first: peel the beetroot and potato and grate.  Ideally you’d be using a food processor with a natty attachment for this.  At worst you’ve only got a normal grater, which means it might take a while and you’ll likely get tired.  But it’s worth it.  Honest.  Top top: if you’re using purple beetroot, make sure you wear an apron and cover anything you don’t want staining purple.

Meanwhile, fry the chipotle and fennel seed in oil over a hot heat for about 3 minutes until everything starts to smell rather yummy.  Turn the heat down and add the spinach one handful at a time, stirring until it’s all wilted.  Add to the beetroot and potato.  Add in the salt and oil and stir well.  Then add the flour 1/2 cup at a time – use your hands and mix everything around to coat.  Keep adding flour until the mixture stops becoming too sticky – it still needs to be relatively wet, but malleable enough to form into patties.  Perfect.

Shape the mix into patties the size of the palm of your hand.

The quickest, and easiest, way to cook these is to deep fry them.  Alternatively you can shallow fry them on a medium heat for about 10-15 mins until cooked through.  Because i like to pretend i’m healthy i like to flash fry them VERY quickly in some very hot oil to crisp the outside, then bake in the oven at 150C for about 45 mins, in a separate baking tray, oil-free.  You could also probably grill them, but you won’t get the oily crispiness that frying will give you, and it’s that which makes these especially yummy – crispy on the outside and moist and lovely on the in.

I tried to make onion bhajis but i didn’t put enough onion in.  It’s a bit ridiculous when you think about it.

I managed to not make enough pastry too, so it turned out a bit more like a posh pizza than a tart.  I’d like to think of this as some kind of culinary revolution, but next time i will be trying it with the correct amount of pasty.  I suggest you do the same.

This is very easy to make – essentially three separate bits that you put together and cook for a bit.  Of course, the filling can be subsituted for pretty much anything you like, savoury or sweet, but you know, onion week…

Make the pasty first:

Mix 1 1/2 cups plain flour and a large pinch of salt.  Cut 1 cup of vegan margerine into the flour mix and rub with your fingers until it turns into breadcrumbs.  Add cold water, 1 tablespoon at a time until the mixture balls together.  Knead a few times to bind it all, then put in the fridge for at least 45 mins to rest.

For the onions:

Peel 6 small onions and cut into 6ths.  Place in a baking tray, coat with olive oil and a squish of balsamic vinegar.  Sprinkle with salt and 1 teaspoon sugar and flip a bit to coat.  Roast in the oven for about 45 mins to an hour until all tender and caramelised.  Yum

Tomatoes/Finish/etc…:

Slice 2 large cloves of garlic thinly and fry in a heavy duty ovenproof saucepan for about 2 mins.  Slice 2 tomatoes and place into the pan.  Leave to fry a little for a few more minutes – no need to move them around as they’ll just fall apart.  Season with salt and pepper and sprinkle 2 tablespoons of thyme over the top.

Assemble le tart – cover the tomatoes with the onions, trying not to disturb the tomatoes.  Roll the pasty out so it’s a little bigger than the pan and lay over the top of the veggies.  Tuck the pastry underneath the edges – the aim is to enclose the filling without creating an airtight(ish) seal.

Bake the whole thing in the oven for 45 mins at about 180C until the pastry is cooked through and golden brown on the base.

Remove from the oven and place a large plate, face down, over the pan.  Being, of course, very careful (something i’m not used to), flip pan and plate together (hopefully there should be a gentle little “pat” sound as your tart says hello to the plate).  If any tomatoey bits are still stuck to the pan, no worries, just lay them on top of the pie in a suitably rustic style.